There are many different types of friendships. In this book I hope to share God’s purpose for friendship and explore its benefits. This book will also discuss the reality of toxic friendships and how to avoid falling victim to them.
Friendship is one of the natural desires of men and women. Everyone looks for friendship in one way or another. Friendships offer us companionship, camaraderie, closeness, familiarity, alliance and allegiance. The main thing most people assume is present in most friendships and therefore forget to look for is loyalty. Loyalty has taken some friendships to the level of familial love. The lack of loyalty, however, has taken some friendships to the edge of bitterness, hatred, envy, anger, animosity and open hostility.
Friendships are a funny thing. Like all close relationships, they have the expectation to enrich you but also carry the ability to hurt you. My pastor once said that a hug and a punch must both be delivered at close range. This statement struck me sadly not as surprising but rather as profound. Think about it for a minute. If you are hurt by a stranger, you may be injured and in pain but it is completely different from being hurt by a friend, family member or anyone who is supposed to be close to you. A slap in the face from a stranger is nothing compared to a slap in the face from a friend. Disgust that a stranger lied about you, broke your confidence, took advantage of you is intensified into astonishment, hurt, anger and betrayal when carried out by someone who claims to love you and have your best interests at heart. I used to think that I would never be lonely once I got saved. Unfortunately I have lost more friends since I accepted salvation than ever before.
After enduring hurt and rejection in the world, I came to the church expecting to find true friendship among people who claim to love God and claim to love each other. The pain that false friendships and betrayals and backbiting in the church have caused me have played a large role in the thick skin I have developed. It is always a surprise when you are hurt by people who claim to love you but to find hell in the place where you expect to find heaven is truly a shock to the system. Enduring those times is what helped me develop the gift of moving on. Yes, I feel the hurt of betrayal and the sting of rejection but I don’t internalize it. Often times when someone hurts me, I call my friend and vent to her and five minutes later she might mention the thing I was upset about and I’ll have completely forgotten it. One important lesson I have learned is that people can only affect you in the ways that you allow them to.
In this book and at this retreat, I hope to show the people of God how to find a godly friend and more importantly how to be one through Biblical examples and personal experience.
The best example for how to do this can be found in the golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The Bible in Proverb 18:24 says basically that if you want to have a good friend you have to be a good friend.
Join us for the Show Yourself Friendly: A Proverbs 18:24 Retreat and uncover God's original design for friendship.
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